Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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