i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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