she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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