i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
