So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
