pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
