Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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