my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
