i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
