Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
how do you play pong handcuffed?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
