Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
