Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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