Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
