i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
