My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
