Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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