apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
