that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize