butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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