I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
