I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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