If that was your dad, he is hot
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
