mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We were destined to go to rehab together
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
