I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
