if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
