And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
