Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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