Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
