keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
