help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
