Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
