Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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