The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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