I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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