I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Randomize
