how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize