Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just cut my nipple shaving
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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