she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
