when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
