Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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