after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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