wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
