Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
no, he came in my armpit
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can I color on your dick again?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
