we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
