This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think I just sharted jello shots
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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