Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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