She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
