You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
