I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
