1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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