the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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