Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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