Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it because I queefed?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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