brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
