Who wears a wallet chain?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Houston, we have a squirter
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
