Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
