Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
how drunk are you?
Several
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize