You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
