fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
