i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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