im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
