just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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