...so i touched it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
