your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
