I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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