I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
