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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...

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Harry Potter is better than twilight.

Submitted by gregis111 on Jul 2, 10 at 8:02pm

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- too bad it's all stupid as fuck
  
  Submitted by Anonymous1024 on Jul 3, 10 at 4:14am
  
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Team Sirius Black.

Submitted by HouseOfWolvesx on Jul 3, 10 at 12:29am

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Jacob fucks doggy style

Submitted by xFluffyx on Jul 2, 10 at 7:36pm

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Team Jacob? Team Edward? How about team shut the fuck up?!?!

Submitted by big_dubya56 on Jul 2, 10 at 10:29pm

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Owned by a preteen! Tragic

Submitted by DevilDogUSMC on Jul 2, 10 at 7:35pm

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Time for your wingman to scream TEAM EDWARD and pour glitter all over himself/ bedazzle his cock

Submitted by mike0006 on Jul 2, 10 at 8:26pm

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I'd fuck Jacob doggy style. Or any style he liked really.

Submitted by jamielynnbeaty on Jul 2, 10 at 7:45pm

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Hilarious.

Submitted by TheWingMan on Jul 2, 10 at 7:08pm

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Where's blade when you need him?

Submitted by dunni786 on Jul 2, 10 at 9:56pm

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You twilight fags are worse than the Lord of the Ring douche bags a few years ago. Get a freakin life.

Submitted by RolledUp on Jul 2, 10 at 7:22pm

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- I fucking love you.
  
  Submitted by anon33 on Jul 3, 10 at 1:26am
  
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  - I lucking fove you
    
    Submitted by Sly145 on Mar 27, 11 at 1:28am
    
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Team Alice.

Submitted by natalia24 on Jul 2, 10 at 10:56pm

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- Indeed
  
  Submitted by fyizzle on Jul 3, 10 at 12:06am
  
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Omg I hope this is real.

Submitted by necrocat on Jul 2, 10 at 10:12pm

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FUCK TWILIGHT :)

Submitted by herrrrro on Jul 2, 10 at 9:52pm

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twilight is such a fuckin waste of time... I would have to be held captive by special ops to make me sit through that load of crap...then I would be ready to string up with my own shoelaces!!!

Submitted by buzzcutt on Jul 2, 10 at 9:51pm

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TEAM TYLERS VAN!! if only it had killed her.

Submitted by WCPortugal on Jul 3, 10 at 9:19am

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...and then Buffy staked Edward. The end.

Submitted by underfan15 on Jul 3, 10 at 4:37pm

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Harry potter is better. Twilight is for people with now lives.

Submitted by AlwaysAllNighter on Aug 3, 10 at 10:00am

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Hp fan more than twlight fan

Submitted by SuppressiveFire on Jul 2, 10 at 11:23pm

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I wanna get that wasted soon.

Submitted by adhslax4 on Jul 17, 10 at 1:44am

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Love this Text!! But Team Switzerland and Team Carlisle are the MUCH better Teams to be on :D\nPeace.Love.Twilight.

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 2, 10 at 9:30pm

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And halfway through Wesley snipes comes in and kills everything .... Would make it soooo much better

Submitted by fridayrock04 on Jul 2, 10 at 11:51pm

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- THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS
  
  Submitted by Mandalay on Jul 4, 10 at 3:50pm
  
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Team Harry Potter!

Submitted by ilovetaylorswift on Jul 7, 10 at 10:01pm

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Team stfu about glampires

Submitted by bloo707 on Jul 27, 10 at 1:27am

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OHMYGOD! Now that is fucking hilarious (:

Submitted by jadamaniaci1593 on Jul 2, 10 at 7:52pm

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Team bill

Submitted by starrsoforion on Jul 3, 10 at 12:13pm

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team Jacob?\nteam edward?!\nhow about TEAM PETER CHAO mutha fuckas!!!!!

Submitted by lilmisa on Jul 6, 10 at 2:52pm

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xFluffyx what's wrong with doggy style? Lol

Submitted by softball17 on Jul 2, 10 at 8:08pm

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Team Harry

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 10 at 2:40pm

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Yes team Bill Compton all the way

Submitted by kinda_bitchy303 on Jul 7, 10 at 2:56pm

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everyone calm the fuck down. if you took ten minutes to read you'd realize twilight is a good book. it's the movies that suck shit.

Submitted by fuuckyoou on Jul 4, 10 at 12:00am

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Haha. That's rough:)

Submitted by 1ArmyStrong1 on Jul 3, 10 at 4:50pm

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Get owned!

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 10 at 7:06pm

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Gotta be one of my all time favs!

Submitted by ez_aka_the_one on Jul 16, 10 at 2:25am

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Bahahah. Bitch, please.

Submitted by schmuckers06 on Jul 2, 10 at 7:13pm

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Team Lestat FTW bitches.

Submitted by kyui13 on Jul 3, 10 at 2:49pm

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Team potter!

Submitted by twilightsucksass on Jul 3, 10 at 12:26pm

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As opposed to screaming at a 12 yr old UNaggressively

Submitted by flyincross on Jul 2, 10 at 11:30pm

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team jasper!

Submitted by skullcrusher on Jul 3, 10 at 9:52am

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Team Edward

Submitted by missellewoods on Jul 3, 10 at 4:16pm

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was it a right hook?

Submitted by Powerman on Jul 10, 10 at 4:51pm

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TEAM RON BURGUNDY!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by totally on Jul 9, 10 at 3:30am

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This text should be entitled Reasons why not to go drunk to a vampire/werwolf movie premier ;D

Submitted by thatguyrobbie on Jul 14, 10 at 4:30am

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How about team no one fucking cares! Anyone who chooses "a team" simply wants to screw Jake or Edward. The decision is purly sexual preferance

Submitted by saweeeeeet on Jul 3, 10 at 12:45am

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At least lord of the rings is a very well written story. Twilight was based of a wet dream the author had about a vampire

Submitted by noah13 on Jul 4, 10 at 9:13am

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Team Eric Northman. I had to say it. Its a book series but for some girls its their version of fantasy football or whatever RPG style things like. As annoying as it is we must agree to disagree. Twilight books, decent. Twilight movies, total shit not worth 2 hours or 9$.

Submitted by lindseysarus on Jul 3, 10 at 12:58pm

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- LOOOOOVE Eric
  
  Submitted by maggiewho on Jul 6, 10 at 6:07pm
  
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Fake.

Submitted by Styphin on Jul 3, 10 at 5:31am

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Seriously if you don't like it than shut the hell up and don't criticize those of us who actually enjoy it. it's just a series of books and a few movies it's nothing to get upset about whether someone likes it or not.

Submitted by xxbritniiiiiixx on Jul 3, 10 at 1:34am

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Dunni, that's definitely what we need!

Submitted by shinee on Jul 3, 10 at 1:22am

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It's ridiculous how someone would actually punch for that...

Submitted by greenkid on Jul 3, 10 at 4:38am

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Team Bella!

Submitted by ninjaman181 on Jul 25, 10 at 5:03pm

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Twilight is horrifying swill that should burn. But that's just hysterical.

Submitted by batsoverbarstow on Jul 5, 10 at 7:23pm

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Team JACOB! Lol

Submitted by mp9p on Jul 2, 10 at 7:21pm

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TEAM LITERACY.\n\nBam.\n\nI'm done.

Submitted by HollyBee on Oct 13, 10 at 11:07pm

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Team Sirius Black SECONDED

Submitted by Chuck_Bass_FTW on Jul 30, 10 at 8:04am

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Team Eric Northman FTW!!!!!!!

Submitted by mymorningjacket on Jul 4, 10 at 3:56am

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Awesome but fake. No little twitard is actually strong enough to make a black eye except her lil dollies. Too bad. I'd pay to see it.

Submitted by wwiiace on Jul 4, 10 at 1:36pm

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Twilight sucks so bad no one fucking should watch the it has no point

Submitted by strafemaster on Jul 6, 10 at 1:52am

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@saweeeeeet: Team Bella all da way :P

Submitted by KlaskXupo on Jul 9, 10 at 1:18pm

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Team Buffy all the way!

Submitted by justashadow on Jul 3, 10 at 3:44pm

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Omg WiNnInG!

Submitted by enigmaember on Jun 18, 11 at 3:33am

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How about Team Buffy.

Submitted by blahblah111610 on Nov 30, 10 at 11:29pm

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Laughed hard

Submitted by kewlmyc on Jul 18, 10 at 12:24pm

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WCportugal- in order for you to have known the guys name and the fact it was a van makes me think you actually watched twilight. Meaning that you're trying to be a hard ass. It's not working.

Submitted by boysloveus on Jul 3, 10 at 11:38am

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Awesome. I laughed pretty hard.

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 10 at 11:00pm

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Team TOSH.O!

Submitted by georgionigga on Jul 23, 10 at 4:59am

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I honestly would take the black eye for this! Very funny.

Submitted by bkeane1 on Jul 2, 10 at 11:56pm

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these pretzels are making me Firsty.

Submitted by firsty on Jul 15, 10 at 1:31am

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How bout team Evan? Lol

Submitted by machaveli2 on Jul 2, 10 at 10:07pm

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Twilight is stupid, but this is funny as hell.

Submitted by soccerluver0035 on Jul 16, 10 at 6:34pm

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Haha ya...not twilight series are ok

Submitted by toribearforever on Jul 14, 10 at 1:39am

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How about all the jack offs on here complaining about Twilight get a life. You took the time to post this for a movie you don't care about? Losers.

Submitted by thisapprox on Jul 3, 10 at 2:14pm

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Edwart is sooooo much better. He fucking sparkles.

Submitted by cinnamon12 on Jul 2, 10 at 7:16pm

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- you know what else sparkles? cinnabuns so go eat one fatty
  
  Submitted by Hawk21 on Jul 2, 10 at 7:58pm
  
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  - The text was hilarious. But this comment is even better.
    
    Submitted by IrregularMe on Jul 2, 10 at 8:31pm
    
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  - i want to shake your hand, sir
    
    Submitted by thisisimportant on Jul 2, 10 at 9:23pm
    
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  - lmao touche` sir touche`
    
    Submitted by hazard248 on Jul 3, 10 at 2:49pm
    
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Wow. Fuck them all. Twilight sucks ass.

Submitted by Kazooie on Jul 5, 10 at 2:56am

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hahaha! all these girls and their twilight obsessions, not sure if I'll ever get it

Submitted by wise420 on Jul 3, 10 at 1:48am

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Owned

Submitted by lolguy575 on Jul 11, 10 at 11:34pm

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team walrus.

Submitted by tfossx on Jul 4, 10 at 2:33am

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TEAM BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Submitted by aTastyCookie on Jul 3, 10 at 7:35pm

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Team JACOB all The Way bby.! :)

Submitted by ebray90 on Jul 3, 10 at 12:51am

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Team Edward!

Submitted by cwhidbee10 on Jul 3, 10 at 5:30am

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Team Jacob? No, teen puss...

Submitted by pichu180 on Jul 2, 10 at 11:51pm

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Let's put aside the Twilight rivalry BS and conclude that if you're a grown man and you get punched in the face by a 12-year-old girl, then you really need to sit down and wonder where your life went wrong.

Submitted by RazorTongue on Sep 2, 15 at 2:43pm

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Comments

Submitted by gregis111 on Jul 2, 10 at 8:02pm

Submitted by Anonymous1024 on Jul 3, 10 at 4:14am

Submitted by HouseOfWolvesx on Jul 3, 10 at 12:29am

Submitted by xFluffyx on Jul 2, 10 at 7:36pm

Submitted by big_dubya56 on Jul 2, 10 at 10:29pm

Submitted by DevilDogUSMC on Jul 2, 10 at 7:35pm

Submitted by mike0006 on Jul 2, 10 at 8:26pm

Submitted by jamielynnbeaty on Jul 2, 10 at 7:45pm

Submitted by TheWingMan on Jul 2, 10 at 7:08pm

Submitted by dunni786 on Jul 2, 10 at 9:56pm

Submitted by RolledUp on Jul 2, 10 at 7:22pm

Submitted by anon33 on Jul 3, 10 at 1:26am

Submitted by Sly145 on Mar 27, 11 at 1:28am

Submitted by natalia24 on Jul 2, 10 at 10:56pm

Submitted by fyizzle on Jul 3, 10 at 12:06am

Submitted by necrocat on Jul 2, 10 at 10:12pm

Submitted by herrrrro on Jul 2, 10 at 9:52pm

Submitted by buzzcutt on Jul 2, 10 at 9:51pm

Submitted by WCPortugal on Jul 3, 10 at 9:19am

Submitted by underfan15 on Jul 3, 10 at 4:37pm

Submitted by AlwaysAllNighter on Aug 3, 10 at 10:00am

Submitted by SuppressiveFire on Jul 2, 10 at 11:23pm

Submitted by adhslax4 on Jul 17, 10 at 1:44am

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 2, 10 at 9:30pm

Submitted by fridayrock04 on Jul 2, 10 at 11:51pm

Submitted by Mandalay on Jul 4, 10 at 3:50pm

Submitted by ilovetaylorswift on Jul 7, 10 at 10:01pm

Submitted by bloo707 on Jul 27, 10 at 1:27am

Submitted by jadamaniaci1593 on Jul 2, 10 at 7:52pm

Submitted by starrsoforion on Jul 3, 10 at 12:13pm

Submitted by lilmisa on Jul 6, 10 at 2:52pm

Submitted by softball17 on Jul 2, 10 at 8:08pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 10 at 2:40pm

Submitted by kinda_bitchy303 on Jul 7, 10 at 2:56pm

Submitted by fuuckyoou on Jul 4, 10 at 12:00am

Submitted by 1ArmyStrong1 on Jul 3, 10 at 4:50pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 10 at 7:06pm

Submitted by ez_aka_the_one on Jul 16, 10 at 2:25am

Submitted by schmuckers06 on Jul 2, 10 at 7:13pm

Submitted by kyui13 on Jul 3, 10 at 2:49pm

Submitted by twilightsucksass on Jul 3, 10 at 12:26pm

Submitted by flyincross on Jul 2, 10 at 11:30pm

Submitted by skullcrusher on Jul 3, 10 at 9:52am

Submitted by missellewoods on Jul 3, 10 at 4:16pm

Submitted by Powerman on Jul 10, 10 at 4:51pm

Submitted by totally on Jul 9, 10 at 3:30am

Submitted by thatguyrobbie on Jul 14, 10 at 4:30am

Submitted by saweeeeeet on Jul 3, 10 at 12:45am

Submitted by noah13 on Jul 4, 10 at 9:13am

Submitted by lindseysarus on Jul 3, 10 at 12:58pm

Submitted by maggiewho on Jul 6, 10 at 6:07pm

Submitted by Styphin on Jul 3, 10 at 5:31am

Submitted by xxbritniiiiiixx on Jul 3, 10 at 1:34am

Submitted by shinee on Jul 3, 10 at 1:22am

Submitted by greenkid on Jul 3, 10 at 4:38am

Submitted by ninjaman181 on Jul 25, 10 at 5:03pm

Submitted by batsoverbarstow on Jul 5, 10 at 7:23pm

Submitted by mp9p on Jul 2, 10 at 7:21pm

Submitted by HollyBee on Oct 13, 10 at 11:07pm

Submitted by Chuck_Bass_FTW on Jul 30, 10 at 8:04am

Submitted by mymorningjacket on Jul 4, 10 at 3:56am

Submitted by wwiiace on Jul 4, 10 at 1:36pm

Submitted by strafemaster on Jul 6, 10 at 1:52am

Submitted by KlaskXupo on Jul 9, 10 at 1:18pm

Submitted by justashadow on Jul 3, 10 at 3:44pm

Submitted by enigmaember on Jun 18, 11 at 3:33am

Submitted by blahblah111610 on Nov 30, 10 at 11:29pm

Submitted by kewlmyc on Jul 18, 10 at 12:24pm

Submitted by boysloveus on Jul 3, 10 at 11:38am

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 10 at 11:00pm

Submitted by georgionigga on Jul 23, 10 at 4:59am

Submitted by bkeane1 on Jul 2, 10 at 11:56pm

Submitted by firsty on Jul 15, 10 at 1:31am

Submitted by machaveli2 on Jul 2, 10 at 10:07pm

Submitted by soccerluver0035 on Jul 16, 10 at 6:34pm

Submitted by toribearforever on Jul 14, 10 at 1:39am

Submitted by thisapprox on Jul 3, 10 at 2:14pm

Submitted by cinnamon12 on Jul 2, 10 at 7:16pm