Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
