I think my vagina is haunted
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize