what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
